It’s been a couple of months since I have posted anything and as the year is almost coming to an end I wanted to talk about one of the many themes for this year which was change. When I think about the word “change” I always associate it with something negative which isn’t always true but in the situations I went through at the time I thought that was the case.
I am the type of person who brushes off any signs of wrongdoing from others. I am not a confrontational person so when something does irritate or bother me I usually don’t say anything and move on. In the situations that spanned for more than half of this year I did just that. In the span of those couple of months I also felt anxious, stressed, and “sick”. I say “sick” because I had went to see doctors and my numbers were healthy but I felt something internally that just wasn’t right and I knew it had something to do with those situations. I tend to hold alot of emotions in and not address something until I reach a breaking point. It’s something I am working on getting better at but it wasn’t until five months ago I had that “breaking point” and forced myself to make decisions that would help me be in the better place I currently am at. Looking back I felt trapped and thought I didn’t have options that can help me feel good again. I have been used to accommodating for others and tending to their needs rather than my own. I have been used to just doing things so others could be happy knowing that it didn’t make me happy. Forcing myself to make these decisions has allowed me now to be in a much better space. The “issues” I was having health-wise were for the most part gone. Moving from that to a safer space made realize how much stress/anxiety from not so ideal situations can trickle down in other aspects of my life. I still have “down” days but I am work through it in a better space.
It’s crazy how you can go through something and feel like it’s the end of the world but once you are on the “other side” you can see the lessons that needed to be learned and aspects of yourself that need to be worked on. Through these situations I had three takeaways that needed to be addressed:
- Put yourself first.
- If there are signs that don’t sit well with you address them immediately.
- Everything is figureoutable.
In a perfect world it may be ideal for many to just go through life without having to deal with “downsides” but it’s not realistic. We all often learn important lessons through negative situations. No one expects you to face those tough situations with a smile on your face but it’s important to be present fully and not disregard until it trickles down in other aspects of your life like I have in the past.