When you search for something to complement your life whether it be a new partner or friend you always narrow your choices to something that has “potential” to grow. When assessing these choices potential should be a factor but not the only factor. Fixating on potential can cause you to not think rationally, meaning making choices based on your current paradigm. Have you ever made a forced decision and regretted immediately? Have you ever forced yourself to like something and then disregard it? You get into these situations because there is void to fill. Rather than being patient you force yourself to “fix” the problem so you can be “right”. Everyone has potential but fixating on one’s potential rather than acknowledging their current actions can deceive us here’s why:
- You invalidate who they are. : When you fixate on one’s potential you often ignore their current actions and who they are. You get infatuated with that they could be rather than accepting them for who they are.
- You project our own paradigm onto them. : Not only do you invalidate who they are, you project your own values within your paradigm. Instead of looking at what’s best for them you look for qualities that are best for you. Any form of relationship must have a fair exchange where both parties are satisfied.
- You ignore warning signs. : Getting infatuated with potential may cause you to ignore warning signs. When you obsess over anything you feel high. Everything seems to be perfect and nothing can go wrong. It causes you to lose that objectivity that should be present when making any decision.
As mentioned before the potential is something everyone should take into consideration but not the only thing. It’s easy for your mind to play tricks on you when under the pressure to be “right”. With every decision, it’s important to think objectively so you don’t get mislead.
Lots of love,
Jasmine and Phrieda